…if you really have to…
You want to contact me? What the hell for? It better be something good!!!
If I’m not dead, drunk, dead drunk, at the beach, dancing, skydiving, swimming with sharks, fondling dolphins, in the hospital, studying spanish, sleeping, taking my empty tequila bottle to the trash bin, or doing any number of other activities, I will probably receive your e-mail soon.
Bear in mind that I can be a bit of a liability.
Thus, I may misplace it, lose it, accidentally delete it, intentionally delete it, move it to my spam folder, move it to my junk folder, move it to my trash folder, reply to the wrong address, send it to the wrong person, or all of the above.
In any case, if none of these things happen, I will reply to you very quickly – assuming my computer doesn’t have a virus, have a bad hard drive, my server hasn’t crashed, or my girlfriend (or the girl i met last night) hasn’t deleted all my e-mails out of jealousy, for the fun of it, etc…
In any case, I will get back to you as soon as humanly possible!
So PLEASE, PLEAE send me a message!!!
Talk to you soon!!!
Lots of love….