Playa Del Carmen 5 Star Resorts

…when only the best will do…

It’s no secret that I haven’t been having much luck with the ladies recently.

But last week I was hammering a few beers on the beach, and managing to get a conversation going with a very nice English woman.

Thankfully she didn’t look like a typical English woman.

She had no sunburn or make-up badly plastered all over her face.

And she wasn’t wearing clothes that were too small for her.

Later in the evening she suggested having drinks in her resort bar.

Good idea,” I thought.

But she was staying in one of Playa Del Carmen 5 star resorts.

I was trying to act natural.

But it took all my concentration to not swoon in amazement at my surroundings.

Then another bombshell disconcerted me: Was I supposed to be paying for these drinks?

Playa Del Carmen 5 Star Resorts Aren’t Cheap

Okay, so some people are happy traveling on a budget.

Others want the best of everything.

As I left this 5 star resort bar, I found I was torn between these two sides.

I wanted the best of everything.

I had seen just how amazing the local 5 star resorts can be.

But my credit card was crying.

I didn’t even want to invite this woman back to my place.

How could she go from this 5 star luxury to my squalid tequila bottle strewn apartment?

If You Can Afford It, Playa Del Carmen 5 Star Resorts Are Seriously Worth It

If I could afford it, I would be back at this woman’s resort right now.

There’s luxury…and then there’s one of Playa Del Carmen’s 5 star resorts.

FACT: 5 star resorts around the world all have to meet the same standards. The stars represent a rating system developed by Forbes Travel Guide back in 1958.

Some people think that because Mexico is a piss poor country, the 5 star standards are lower.

That’s not true.

To be 5 star in Playa Del Carmen. You must have the same quality as a 5 star anywhere else in the world.

That means offering an amazing combination of food services, views, different rooms, entertainment, service, facilities, and additional amenities like spas and fitness centers.

I was amazed about what must be included.

Like an ironing service, drinks available 24 hours, and personalized greetings for every guest.

Which Of Playa Del Carmen 5 Star Resorts Should I Choose

But because all Playa Del Carmen 5 star resorts offer the same facilities and amenities, it’s very difficult to choose one.

You compare the list of facilities and amenities – and they’re all the same.

Even the photos are hard to distinguish.

Beautiful pools, amazing views, opulent rooms…blah, blah, blah.

Don’t worry, help has come from an unlikely source…

I decided to come clean with this English woman, and admit to being poor and not quite in her league.

I told her about this website; it’s my only claim to fame.

She laughed, mentioned that I had unknowingly (via this website) helped her plan her vacation activities, and then casually mentioned that she had stayed at a few different 5 star resorts in Playa Del Carmen.

She offered to accompany me to them all, and even to pay for the drinks.

Ding ding…what a result!

Then she said “But don’t think this means I’m going to sleep with you.

Oh well, you can’t have everything, but she was a really cool person, so it was all good.

I ended up sleeping on the floor, dog style (not to be confused with doggy style), at the resorts we visited.

So here’s a comparison of Playa Del Carmen 5 star resorts, from both my amazed perspective and a demanding tourist’s more critical perspective.

Playa Del Carmen 5 Star Resorts 1 – Secrets Maroma Beach Riviera Cancun

What I thought: This is a huge all inclusive 5 star that looks much more expensive than it actually is.

In low season, there are cheap suites from as little as $200 USD/night.

Which is as cheap as you can possibly get for a 5 star all inclusive in Playa Del Carmen.

The rooms are huge, and the beachfront location will appeal to everyone.

It’s ~20 minutes to 5th Avenue, so you’ve got a chance to walk off all the food.

What she thought (in an English accent): “There is a fantastic choice of different rooms, so it’s affordable for everyone.

“I prefer the flats [rooms] with a swim up pool, especially as there is a cocktail bar in the pool.”

“The toilets [bathrooms] were amazing, too. Very luxury.”

“The resort only allows adults 18 years old and over, which is a huge bonus, particularly when they have so many excellent bars.”

Playa Del Carmen 5 Star Resorts 2 – Rosewood Mayakoba

What I thought: If heaven was a resort it would look something like this.

Even the staff seem to have halos suspended above their head.

It’s a sumptuous 5 star property, and it took massive concentration to not gawp at every room we checked out.

If you want something memorable and luxurious, then indulge in the Rosewood Mayakoba.

Rooms start at $475 USD/night – $810 USD/night, dependent on the season.

What she thought (con English accent): “My favorite 5 star in Playa Del Carmen.”

“I half expected some Hollywood celebrities to be sitting in the bar and I can’t get enough of these cocktails and tequila.”

“In fact, do we really have to leave this place?

“Why don’t we just drink here all night?”

Playa Del Carmen 5 Star Resorts 3 – Paradisus Playa Del Carmen La Esmeralda

What I thought: This is a 5 star resort for families with young children.

The whole place has a strange chlorine-like smell, most likely because they’ve been cleaning up some 5-year-old’s puke.

It’s undeniably pretty and cheap.

The cheaper suites start at just $206 USD/night in low season and you can fit a whole family in them.

What she thought: “Ahhhh, there are 10 children in every lift [elevator] here.”

“And there is a non-stop reel of Disney videos getting played on the teles [televisions].”

“I can see that there are a lot of things to do for younger kids, but I just wanted to get drunk on my holiday [vacation], so I’ll be lucky if I don’t go mental with all the bloody children here.”

“The flats [rooms] are beautiful, but if you’re not with young children, then don’t stay here.”

Playa Del Carmen 5 Star Resorts 4 – Belmond Maroma Resort And Spa

What I thought: It’s a bit of distance from 5th Avenue so you’re going to have to spend on taxis.

But the beach and privacy pretty much make up for it.

This is the smallest 5 star resort we looked at, and it’s got more of a personal touch.

The beach is quiet, and the palm trees look like something from a movie.

What she thought: “For tranquility and serenity, this is my favourite [favorite] 5 star resort in Playa Del Carmen.

It’s quiet and only occupied by couples.

Do they think Rufus and I are a couple?

Ahhh, they do. I guess it looks like we’re a middle aged couple on vacation!

Rufus, bring me some tequila, please!

Playa Del Carmen 5 Star Resorts 5 – Banyan Tree Mayakoba

What I thought: It’s kind of like a dreamland where you walk around unable to believe that you can afford such a place.

Which you probably can’t, given it’s $539 USD/night – $3200 USD/night, dependent on the room and season.

If you could define “opulence” via a resort image, it would be the Banyan Tree Mayakoba.

On the beach, massive rooms, loads of space so people can avoid each other, and a kick ass beer collection…

What she thought: “If Rufus could afford a room in this place I might reconsider not sleeping with him.”

“He’s quite cute, but somewhat awkward. I can’t put a finger on it – maybe he’s just too drunk.”

“Not that I’m vain like that.”

“But anyone staying here has got either style or money – Rufus only has a website.”

“And there’s no way I’m going back to his apartment.”

“It’s gorgeous, luxurious, and the various room choices mean that everyone gets their privacy.”

“I wish they had a tube [subway] that went to Fifth Avenue so I could do some more shopping; I’m tired of all this walking in the city.”

The Final Word On Playa Del Carmen 5 Star Resorts

So after a wonderful eight hours checking out Playa Del Carmen’s panoply of 5 star resorts, I was drunk and confident.

I ended up with another goodnight kiss, but I’m really going to have to improve my own apartment before having a chance with a woman like this.

Wow, she knew her 5 star resorts.

We walked into a couple, and she walked straight back out, claiming that “Nobody should pay $500 to stay in this shit hole.

I think part of the problem was that she was thinking in British pounds; the resort was thinking in US dollars. (500 pounds = $750 USD!!!)

Nonetheless, I thought it had looked quite nice.

If you’ve got the money, (pounds, dollars, or pesos), then the Playa Del Carmen 5 star resorts really are some of the best in the world.

And if you’re trying to impress a woman then I hope you get luckier than me…!

I hope to see you here soon…

Lots of love,


Rufus signature

It’s your turn. Do you have any advice, tips, or suggestions about five Star resorts here? Please leave your comments in the section below!

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